When your first kid goes to kindergarten

It all started last night. The eve of my first-born son starting kindergarten. When out of the blue my husband says, “I think you’re going to cry tomorrow.” As he said it, I had mixed of emotions. What if I do cry? What if I don’t cry? But in my head and heart all I could think was about how our son was ready for school.

I’m a planner. An executor. The reality of my son starting school set in three months ago. As most were getting ready for summer, I was mentally preparing for the season of my life changing. I was researching every GPS tracker on the market. Reading every possible article on the school parent portal. I was mapping out the logistics of getting him and our daughter where they needed to be in the morning, and how they would get home.

In June, the Pottery Barn Kids magazine showed up with a ridiculous sale on backpacks, and he excitedly picked one out. I knew he was ready. When people would come over to our house, he would incessantly ask if they wanted to see his backpack. I knew he was ready. When July came around, he eagerly strolled the aisles of Target picking out his Fiskars baseball scissors and crayons. I knew he was ready. When we went to school to meet his teacher, he was beaming from ear to ear. I knew he was ready. When the only question he had for his teach was if there was show and tell at kindergarten. I knew he was ready. When he couldn’t fall asleep after going to the school open house due to being worried he would get off the bus at the wrong stop because the kindergartners have a bus transfer. I knew he was ready. When we made a map of the bus route and practiced what buses he would take to and from school. I knew he was ready. When the days leading up to school, he counted down the days till he was a kindergartner. I knew he was ready. When the night before school started, I asked if he had any questions, and he said “Yes one. What time is lunch at school?” I knew he was ready. When I was tucking him in bed the night before kindergarten, we were reading the Jitter Glitter letter his teacher sent home about putting magical glitter under your pillow the night before school to help kids sleep and not be nervous. He looked at me and said, “Mom, I actually don’t need that. I am not nervous.” I knew he was ready. When the morning of his first day, he woke up before his alarm clock and said, “I’m going to kindergarten today!” I knew he was ready. When I looked him in his eyes that morning and said, “You are brave. You are smart. I am so proud of you.” He wrapped his arms around my neck and said, “I love you, Mom.” I knew he was ready. When I watched him wait in line at the bus stop with his friends. I knew he was ready. I could see the excitement in his eyes as he climbed the steps and sat down in the seat. I knew he was ready.

In the end, it doesn’t matter if I did or did not cry, because it was my job to make sure he was ready for this big moment. With all my heart, I knew he was ready.